To My Sweet Girls

Sweet girls…

I’ve never been one for self care. It has always seemed frivolous and futile, something I’m sure I learned from your Grandma Mac, but I always wanted to avoid the feeling of being scammed; investing too much faith into a product advertised to make all my dreams of becoming magically irresistible overnight come true. So I wrote them off, like sweepstakes. The beautiful have already been decided and that was that.

But the other day I saw this post. A girl in an instagram video stated you could tell the girls who didn’t take the time to lotion themselves after a shower, not because of the actual hydrating properties of lotion, or which specific kind, but because you could tell she did not think she was worthy of her own time.

It stopped me. Was this how I viewed myself? So many things to be done, chores and responsibilities, that there was simply no time for… me?

I’d told myself it was selfish and indulgent so often… not realizing that maybe that could be a good thing.

Maybe my selfishness, literally caring for my self, could pour out onto those around me.

Maybe nobody could meet the needs I was denying myself and the pressure I was putting on them to do so was suffocating our relationships.

So, my little ones, I grabbed the sugar scrub, unopened, tucked back under the sink, and a bottle of lotion that had been gifted us months (if not a year) ago. I opened and moved them into the shower and was pleasantly surprised at how nice the scrub felt. It felt productive, stimulating my legs and arms and I thought of lymphatic drainage, and the ways my legs course pumping blood after a long walk. And I wished I’d done this for myself a long time ago. Because here I was, engaging in a frivolous, self absorbed, superficial activity, and I could sense the multiple benefits immediately. And I felt special.

I heard God’s voice explain, that the body is not all sinful for its desires, it is only sinful if the flesh leads. God made our bodies to work for him, and to care for them is stewardship. He did not make it Him against the flesh, but rather He is the head of the body. Caring for it, self care, is worship, in the same way they would dust the temple to create a beautiful dwelling place. But placing the flesh, its importance, or desires above Him is the only sin. Don’t be selfish is a warning against the chance of sin if it becomes too big. I always heard it as the act itself was sinful. Selfishness. It feels like a bad word. And yet there I am judging again. When we judge, we condemn only ourselves. If I enjoy something, it is good. If I dislike something, then I shouldn’t do it. If I want something, like freedom or drinking, that is ok, not bad, I just have things I want more, like the health and freedom of sobriety. And so I don’t shame others for partaking, because I feel no shame over my desire to do it, even if I must deny myself and practice discipline.

Sweet girls, all this to ensure you have a recipe for a nice sugar scrub! And never forget to let yourself enjoy being beautiful and beloved young ladies.

Orange Creamsicle Sugar Scrub (from My Cultured Palate)

1 cup of sugar

.5 cup of coconut oil

Orange essential oil – it calls for 20 drops but the last one I got is weak so I had to double

And a splash of vanilla extract

I love you 🧡